One morning a few weeks ago I was attempting to get a few things done around the house, before the children awoke. However, I decided that I needed to sit down and do a bit of research in my Bible. One of the kiddos had been having some struggles and I was seeking an answer. I got a bit caught up in my research and before I knew it the kiddos were up and about!
Of course, I then hurriedly attempted to catch up on the things that had been forgotten. As I rushed around, accomplishing little, that Small Still Voice whispered, “Ask about their quiet time.” I chose to listen… this time. I paused and asked each of the kiddos about their quiet time, and what they were learning. Wouldn’t you know it, the Lord gave me the opportunity to address one of the issues that particular child had been struggling with! What a blessing!
I am learning how important it is that we take time to stop and encourage our children in their walk with God! Especially when our kiddos are having a struggle…
Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.
Galatians 6:1-3
Have you ever thought of applying these verses to your kids? I hadn’t until today! How much more effective our words are, when they are spoken humbly, in gentleness. Many of the issues that must be tackled with my children are nothing new to me. They are things that I have and, in some instances, still struggle with. When I can speak out of my experiences to my children about a struggle they are having, it doesn’t lower me. Rather, as I share burdens with my kids, it elevates them.
There is a danger in sharing our children’s burdens that we may all together alleviate the burden from them. Please hear me, I am not saying that in sharing their burdens that I share in, lessen, or remove their consequences! It is detrimental to our children to lighten the consequences of their choices and actions. It is possible to gently correct without removing the impact of the consequence. It is a delicate balance that must be thoughtfully enacted.
We must also remember that the goal of correcting our children is not to simply correct an outward behavior. Rather, the goal of our correction must be to show our children their need for a Savior and loving point them to Him. More simply stated, our goal is for their heart to be right with the Lord, not for them to display pleasant outward behaviors. However, when their hearts are right with God, pleasant outward behavior will be a natural result.
If we seek only the external, it will not last. But if we seek the heart, the soul, those changes will be eternal.