I have been so blessed by this song over the last few weeks. But I always felt as though something in my heart was…hesitating to completely embrace the the statement, “You are perfect in all of your ways.” In my mind I can acknowledge that fact. But my heart…my heart remembers that sometimes God’s perfect ways involve pain, heartbreak, and sorrow. I kept identifying the feeling I was having as “hesitating” until the Lord revealed to me what I was feeling.
I do believe that God is a good, good father, and that He is perfect in all of His ways, and that He is faithful and loving to His children. But I also have come to learn that those things don’t always look the way my heart and mind would portray them. The longer I walk with the Lord and learn of Him, I see that sometimes His perfect plan brings difficulty into our lives. But He is GOOD and He never leaves us to walk through the difficulties alone.
I no longer sing words like “You are perfect in all your ways,” and “Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders” with great, wild, naive abandon. I now sing with great reverence, seasoned by experience. Yes, my soul longs for these things, but my heart knows what it may cost and my flesh trembles.
And yet, He is a good, good Father.
And yet, He is faithful.
And yet, I tremble, and I cry out with many saints of old, “I believe, help my unbelief!”
What I initially thought was a hesitation to agree that He is perfect and good, is not that at all. It is a deepening of my understanding of God and who He is. My idea of perfection is not His idea of perfection. When I sing “You are perfect in all of Your ways,” there is a deep feeling of reverence and awe for who He is, a deep respect for His ways that I have learned bring joy and pain, sickness and healing, loss and gain. When I sing that He is good and perfect I can now recognize that my view of “good and perfect” are simple, basic, almost childish when compared to His view of “good and perfect.”
And so, I will sing…I will offer my praise of who He is as I beg for the faith to do so.
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