Over the last few weeks, I have seen many posts on various blogs directed to moms of young children. Several of these posts encouraged young moms that if they can see that doing a certain activity with their kids will end in mom screaming, that they should simply forego the activity. I’d like to offer a different perspective on this issue.
Before I do, however, may I just say that I am quite familiar with the chaos that lots of little ones can bring. Yes, I know my kiddos are all older now, 14,11,10,and 8. But if you do the math, I had some quite hairy scary years there…I’m talking 3 in diapers at once! Now that my children are older, and I look back on those years, I have to say I miss them a bit. There’s nothing quite like snuggling a sleepy 2 year old :)
First I’d like to say that I whole-heartedly agree that the holidays get quite crazy with family activities, projects, programs, and parties. It can be a bit overwhelming. I would encourage you to carefully plan and select which Christmas activities you will be participating in. Be sure to allow time in your schedule for the things that are important to you. Don’t let them get crowded out by things that you really don’t care to do, but is the “thing” to do. This was a hard lesson for me to learn, but if you don’t purpose to make making memories with your kids a priority, someone else will make memories with them, and you may or may not be included in those memories. Please purpose to spend time with them doing the things you always dreamed of doing with your children, even if it seems a tad selfish in the moment.
Moms, it’s our attitude that makes it or breaks it.
Which leads to my next point. Please don’t forego an activity because you think you will end up a screaming ninny. Trust me, that is a very real reality for me, even now. If there is an activity on your list of things you want to do with your kids, make it happen. Plan the activity when the bulk of your crew will be at their best. If you’re tired and have been busy all day, it won’t be the best time to try to decorate cookies. Plan, and be purposeful. Use the knowledge of yourself to prepare for the activity. If you know that decorating cookies with your kids may just send you over the edge, mentally prepare yourself. Go into the activity with the knowledge that there will be icing and sugar sprinkles in every crack and crevice of your work area. Pray before you even get started. Then, be purposeful in making the activity a success by making a game plan. Sometimes chaos ensues when Mom hasn’t taken a few minutes to think through how things will be set up. For example, if you are going to be decorating cookies with your kids you may want to set up each kid with their own “station” at the table. Give them everything they will need within reach of their little hands. Before starting the activity, talk with your kids about what’s going to happen. Explain the rules, “Here is your cookie decorating station(kids love stations, don’t ask me why). Look mommy has given you icing, and sprinkles, and a nice big plate to put your cookies on when you have finished with them. If you run out of something, let me know. But let’s make this a fun time by following the rules of cookie decorating….” Then, be gracious when accidents happen, and kind but firm when rules aren’t being followed, knowing that you are making memories your kids will cherish. Plan to spend time cleaning afterwards. Cheap plastic tablecloths are a lifesaver during crafting time. When all the fun has been had, you can simply ball up the tablecloth with all the scraps, and icing dribbles and toss it in the trash. Remember that your children will dip their fingers into the icing, lick them and then double dip. It’s going to happen. But your attitude is what will make all the difference. You can choose to scream, or you can choose to laugh, and put “those” cookies on their own special plate. Moms, it’s our attitude that makes it or breaks it. I hate the thought of moms missing out on fun times and precious memories with their kiddos because of what “might” happen.
Our children’s memories are very kind to their mothers.
Another issue that I have and still do struggled with, is the fear of starting a project and never finishing it. For example, a few years ago I attempted to do a Jesse Tree activity with my kiddos which included making an ornament every day. We maybe did 8 days of that project before I threw in the towel. I gave myself the guilt trip about never finishing things like this with my kids. Worst mom ever, right? Wrong! A few days ago Sugar Belle and I were talking about Christmas activities, and she said, “Mom, remember the year we did the Jesse Tree? That was so much fun!” I was blown away. She remembered the fun we had together working on ornaments and reading fun devotions. She had forgotten the frsutration on mom’s part when the ornaments did not turn out like they were supposed to. The sighs from mom about the mess left behind by little hands…. She didn’t have a clue that the activity should have continued for 3 more weeks! Please moms of littles, try things! Even if you don’t finish, your kids will love the parts you can do. If you like the way an activity sounds, give it a shot, removed the bits and pieces that aren’t working for you, and keep going. Our children’s memories are very kind to their mothers. They remember so many good things about us, that may or may not be entirely true.
I know that moms of little ones don’t want to hear people tell them to enjoy this time, that it goes by too fast, but guess what? It’s the truth. My first precious son is 14…every time I let that sink in, I tear up. And guess what, I’ve been with him for the vast majority of his life, and I still say it went so fast! Now, when I sit an hold my precious niece, I fight back the tears, because I know how precious she is, and how precious this time is for her and her parents. Don’t miss it! Don’t be afraid to make memories with your kids! Employ your self-control and enjoy your kiddos! They need to see the Godly character of self-control lived out in your life, especially when you are exercising it in front of them, and for their benefit.