Okay, I am slowly getting around to answering these questions. I decided to lump these two questions together….
Okay, first of all…. ha ha ha, hee hee hee…..ah…..ha ha, yeah! I love you guys!
Seriously now…hmmm okay how to answer this one. I have to say that, maybe once in a blue moon I feel like I got everything done and stayed sane. But I have learned a few things about keeping up with my work, and staying sane (most of the time:) in the process. But please let me state for the record: I AM NOT SUPER WOMAN!!!
Remember, I am The Frazzled Mama. I think it is important to remember that there are only about 5 other people on the planet that really know all that I do, and more importantly, what I don’t do. I only have 24 hours in a day, just like everyone else. So, there are times, say during VBS for example, that everything doesn’t get done. Every day I have to choose how I will spend my time, on the kids, cleaning, laundry, school, Operation Christmas Child…get the picture? During VBS, no school gets done, and very little cleaning. But then some weeks, we do nothing but school.
So keeping that in mind, here are a few tips I can offer.
One of the biggest “time-savers” for me is that, in general, I don’t watch television. Mr. OverKill loves to watch PBS and documentaries, me, I like to multi-task. Rarely will you find me sitting in front of the television without a secondary activity. Actually, I have that backwards, the TV is usually the secondary activity :) If I am watching TV, I am usually doing paperwork, folding laundry, writing/blogging, or cooking. One thing I love about having the laptop is that I can use websites like hulu.com to let me know when the shows I like are available, and then I can have them on while I cook, or decorate a cake. Sites like this also save time, because there are fewer commercials, and I can watch them on my time frame, not Monday’s at 9:00pm. But, as a rule, my TV/computer is not on during my “operating hours.” More about operating hours later.
This next time saver is going to be a very unpopular one. I am very selective about what I get involved with and/or commit myself to. With 4 children that I am homeschooling, and that I am attempting to raise into responsible, committed, Christians, and the fact that my staying home full-time requires me to pinch every penny and be frugal with our income, my time is very precious. I have to analyze everything that is vying for my time, from Bible studies at church to play dates for the kids, even which lessons they can take. (As a rule, the kiddos are only allowed to be involved in one extracurricular activity per year. Can you imagine trying to take 4 kids to 3 different lessons each? No way!) I don’t spend a ton of time outside of my home. I try to pick areas of service at church that I can either do at home, or that my kiddos can be involved with. You may be asking, “Doesn’t this make you a rather boring and unsociable person?” Well, maybe it does. However, my job right now is not to be exciting and sociable. Perhaps there will be time for that later.
Closely related is the fact that I don’t insist on “me” time. I feel like I am supposed to be serving my family. I am not number one – it’s not about me! My job right now is to be a help to my hubby and raise my kiddos. Occasionally, I will get to meet AwesoMom at our local book store to kill a couple hours looking at books and chatting. But, on a regular basis, my “me” time is when I get to take a shower, uninterrupted :) Don’t get me wrong, as moms, we need a break from our kids. Jesus even needed a break from ministry, but it wasn’t the norm for Him, so I don’t feel like it should be the norm for me. (Matthew 14:23, Luke 5:16)
Another great time saver, that actually also crosses over into the “staying sane” category, is having a routine/schedule and sticking to it. In our home, we have a morning routine, called our “list”(more on lists in a later post), we have a routine for school, and chores. We even have a schedule for laundry! Am I flexible???Yes! But the more we can stick to the routine, the more relaxed I feel. I don’t have to worry about making sure that Little Man has clean undies, because I know that every Thursday, the boys will do their laundry. I don’t have to worry about dust, because I know that Tootle will be dusting on Friday.
What I have had to learn is that I need to stop at some point, and relax or I will get burned out. This has been hard for me to learn. Mr. OverKill has been instrumental in helping me learn how not to overload my plate. Some ladies balk at this, but I run any new commitments I want to make by Mr. OK. I have a tendency to think that I can handle adding more and more to my plate, when the reality is, I can’t! So, he has become the voice of balance in my life. I trust him, and choose to follow his recommendations regarding my time, schedule, and commitments. I am learning how to better manage my time and commitments through his leadership. He also has given me the freedom to say “I need a break!” and then, he usually makes it happen within a week or so.
One of my biggest struggles with “staying sane” or looking “calm” or “pulled together” is that as a homeschooling mom of 4, there is always something that needs to be done. It doesn’t matter if I work all day, without one break, there will still be something that needs to be done. So, Mr. OK and I talked about it, and we came up with a set of “hours of operation” for me. Hoaky? Maybe a bit, but necessary. So, in our home, once the younger kiddos are in bed, I am “off duty,” so to speak. No more laundry, no cleaning the kitchen, cleaning of any kind for that matter! This is supposed to be the time for me to relax a little and do something I enjoy (aka my computer time or reading). It doesn’t always work out that way, but it helps me not feel guilty if I choose to stop working. During my down time, I will blog or do research on the internet. I also use that time for special interest things I am doing, like decorating cakes, etc.
Now, as far as looking calm all the time…ha! Let me say that a few years ago, that would not have been said of me. But, over the years I have learned a few things that have helped me to be “less frazzled.” First of all, I learned to measure things in light of eternity. Is the issue at hand something that will have an eternal impact? If not, it isn’t worth getting my panties in a wad over. Another thing that helps me to stay relaxed is to give myself more time than I need. Something is always going to come up. A kid is going to start throwing up, the van will be out of diesel, equipment won’t work correctly, you name it. Last, I LOVE lists. If I start to feel myself getting panicky about something I am organizing, I will sit down, calm down, and make a list. Then, I prioritize the list and get started. I am able to relax because I know that everything is on the list. Opps, I know I said that was last, but one more thing :) My calendar. I LOVE my Google calendar. Why? Because before I had a smart phone, I was able to set the program to send me a text message at a specific time frame prior to an appointment. Now, with my smart phone, I have a Google calendar app that just gives me a pop-up. I can set them for days, hours or minutes…so cool. Another way to relax, because as long as it’s on the calendar, I won’t forget anything.
Lastly, I know this is very cliché, I have stored this quote from a movie in my brain – it’ so true!
If there is a solution, why worry? The problem will be solved. If there isn’t a solution, why worry? It won’t help!
Okay…well, now I know. GIGGLE!! Well, I think that you are Superwomen and I think the world of you…I like to think of you as one of my best friends…I know we don’t always hang out but when we are together I truly enjoy it. Thanks for the post!