(My choice for Monday Morning Music was selected as a precursor to this post.)
All my life I have had what you might call a “guilty conscience.” Up until recently, I would say the word “sorry” at least 50 times a day. Every time I would mess up, I would beat myself up until I felt sufficiently punished. I have even attempted to apologize for things that other people have done!
For example, a couple of days ago, I made an accounting mistake. I was really torqued with myself. I had to show Mr. OverKill my mistake, and we took care of it. My mistake was not without it’s consequences, but it also wasn’t the end of the world. But, you see, I felt as if it was. I moped around and attempted to punish myself. You’ll like this one, I refused a Starbucks that was offered to me, because “I didn’t deserve it.” Wow! My mind gets a little warped at times.
So, the sad thing is, I can see one of my kiddos doing the same thing. Said kiddo made a mistake last week and then proceeded to tell me I should just throw them out with the trash!
The happy thing is, that the Lord showed me that I am wrong to behave this way. Now, I recognize that we must feel guilt or conviction that something we are doing is wrong. That is what leads us to repentance. Once we realize there is a mistake, error, or sin in our lives, we must repent. The definition of repent is to beat yourself up forever over it right?
No?
OK…. So Merriam-Webster says that the definition of repent is “ to turn from sin and dedicate oneself to the amendment of one’s life.” Yes, I need to recognize mistakes and sin, however, I do not need to attempt to punish myself. If I was to get what I deserve, I would get eternal death! Thankfully, the Lord has provided a way to life! Here’s the great thing, when we repent and ask His forgiveness, not only does He forgive, He also forgets. See?
For as the heavens are high above the earth,
So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him;
As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our transgressions from us.Psalm 103:11-12
He will again have compassion on us,
And will subdue our iniquities.
You will cast all our sins
Into the depths of the sea.Micah 7:19
I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake;
And I will not remember your sins.Isaiah 43:25
So, God isn’t sitting there saying, “Oh yes, you horrible little person, please don’t drink the white chocolate mocha, that’ll make it all better!” How ridiculous am I????
If I have asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me, sincerely, and I have asked Mr. OverKill(or the offended party) to forgive me, sincerely, then it’s done. I don’t need to punish myself. More than likely, there will be natural consequences, that will need to be dealt with. But as far as ”punishing” goes, that’s not how things work.
Why is that so hard to believe??? I think because Satan wants to keep us so bound up in guilt and busy punishing ourselves, that we are no good to anyone around us.
What freedom can be found in ACCEPTING God’s forgiveness! I’m not saying it will be a bed of roses, there are usually consequence to be paid. I have to make a choice in my mind to accept the forgiveness God is offering me. It’s right there….I just need to realize it and accept.