Or maybe I just need to listen better :) So, Thursday night I kept waking up every couple of hours with my heart beating really hard, not fast, just hard. I was also having sweats and chills. Not fun. In the morning I was still feeling pretty crummy, but I wasn’t sure what to do. I’d also been having pressure in my chest for about 3 weeks now. So, I call my endocrinologist and he sent me to the ER to have some tests run. Oh joy! So, Mr. OverKill and I loaded up the kiddos and headed to the ER. Mr. OK waited with the kids in the parking lot until my mom and dad could make it into town to take the kids. I was taken straight in (thanks to my Dr calling in advance), and hooked up and left to be monitored. Then, Mr. OK finally made it in with me before the ER Dr. came in. We told him what was going on and he ordered some tests. He ran blood work on my heart, lungs, and also ran something for clotting issues. They also did a chest x-ray. Meanwhile they started an IV and gave me some Nitrous to see if that would help the pressure in my chest. No dice! Thank the Lord because that would have indicated a heart problem. So, all my test came back perfect, and the Dr. says there is one more test he would like to do. He thinks that what I am having is anxiety, and anxiety attacks. He said he wanted me to take a tranquilizer and if the chest pressure was relieved, that would indicate my symptoms were from anxiety. The Dr. and Mr. OK made it very clear to me that anxiety attacks aren’t necessarily because I am sitting around worrying about things.
Well, wouldn’t you know, about 10 minutes after I took the tranquilizer, I started feeling better. And sleepy, and I really didn’t give a darn about to much! My joke for the rest of the day was “You know that song “my give a darn’s busted”, well my give a darn had done been medicated!” I came home and slept pretty much the rest of the day and all night.
This morning I definitely feel more rested, but that pressure is creeping back.
I was feeling really guilty when the Dr. said “anxiety” because I try my hardest not to worry, because if I have been worrying, then I have been sinning. I feel like I have let down my wonderful husband and my God. I don’t want worry and fear to rob me of my joy. I need to remember that God holds me in His hand, that He sings over me, that He cares for me. I need to remember that He has said he will not give me more than I can handle, and that He will always provide a way of escape for me. I need to remember to take more time to be quiet and still before my God.
So, if you think of it, pray for The Frazzled Mama, apparently she is more frazzled than she realizes!